It is time to wake up!

It is the time for me to wake up from my dream.
I know I would have done better than this!
I knew it.
Repeatedly, it has occurred.
I don't know how to face myself, or even my beloved parents that has spend so much on my education and yet what result have I produced?
I hated myself for not working hard enough to produce excellent results that would amazed them. What they hope for all these years is only seeing me doing good in my studies and most importantly, reach my dream!
It was me! That laziness in me! Can you please fuck off? Just get off me, will you? You are dragging me to the worst stage of my life.
My degree years required my excellent results of my foundation year.. and
what am I doing? What was I doing? what have I been doing over the whole year?
I can't figure out the best answer.
I did nothing.
I did nothing to improve, to upgrade myself to an upper level.
Looking at all my relatives, cousins that did so well in their exams, I felt despair.
I felt soooooo disappointed and sad for myself.
It is myself, I who caused all these things to happen.
Hardworking?
where is it?
These 2 days, I have been thinking deeply,
all these rubbish would just end here
I am not going to sit here doing nothing and just wait for another failure to approach me anymore.
I have had enough of these.
I don't want that to repeat again...
it sucks, really sucks badly...
I have a new dream.
I want to achive it.
You'll see it.
I'm going to be what I dreamed of.
Watch and see!

I am brilliant and great. I feel good. Thank you!