Flash back!

Warning! This post will be really long and you might not like it! Don't read if you find it boring!


The 3rd week of 2nd semester.. xD time flies, but why? Well, I hope that time flies even quick so that I would be able to go to my dream country again.! nippon ni hontou ni aitai desu!

Talking about my host father. He send me an email on saturday! YIPEE!! OMG. I can't tell how happy was I that night after looking at the subject: From Japan. He hasnt been sending me an emails since before CNY and now, he send! Thank you! He send me a short email with 2 photos and a crazy video performed by crazy motoki and crazy ryouta! haha!!

I don't know why these days, I have been thinking about Japan too much! I've been convincing myself not think too much to go there again but these days, my trip to Japan seems to be flashing back abruptly. It was still okay last 2 months. Perhaps the feeling of missing them and Japan is gradually coming back. I can still rmr the first month after I came back from Japan, I cried continuously of host family sick. I really cried, like every night? omg. I cant believe I will cry for the family who is not mine XD

Try, staying in a host family filled with warmth, just exactly like your family, your own family. They offer you what you need, especially love at that time, they always put a smile on their face whenever you talk to them and when you go out with their friends or cousins, your host siblings will wait for you every night at the doorstep for your return and when you are finally back, they will ask you if you are happy. That feeling is T.T wonderful! I will not forget!

What I remember was my last dinner with my first host family was christmas eve! I didnt know that that night was my last night to have dinner with them. I had a great time that night itself, especially with Motoki. I felt Im part of them, i felt that motoki was my real brother, my lovely brother. He sits beside me every night during dinner, always smilling. :) The night after christmas eve, I went out continuously for 3 days. The first night, I didn't know that he will wait for my return with okaasan and 2nd host brother. I was extremely surprise as they bath and sleep rather early. So, I thought that they have gone to bed BUT they appeared infront of me when I reached their house.

The 2nd night after christmas eve, I came back from my 2nd host family's house. I was extremely unhappy on the way back. All of them were talking in Japanese, which obviously I don't understand. And that time what I thought about were all bad thoughts! Totally bad thoughts! The feeling of leaving my first host family came gradually and just out of a sudden, my tears just drop continuously, can't control. Luckily my 2nd host family didn't notice it. I was thinking, how? I'm leaving my first host family, I don't know what am I going to do. From my first stay there, they gave me the warmth that I will never experience other than with my own family. They gave me life- long memories. The thoughts of me leaving my 4th host bro, motoki scare me. I kept telling myself, "he is just a HOST brother of mine, not the real one. Don't take it so serious of leaving them but I just cant control my tears, that stupid emotional tears. well, that's me.

Once I got down from the car, I can;t resist any longer. Once I came down from the car, I spotted motoki opening the entrance door, I was thrilled with happiness! I rushed towards him and give him a high 5 (lol). That night, I know myself, how much tears that dropped non-stop. Looking at the beautiful dark Japan sky, thinking emotionally again, "I'm leaving in just a few days time..."

Even though I went out with other people, not my first host family and yet what I think about the most is just my first host family, my host dad, host mom, host grandma, 4 host brothers... The first night not having dinner with me, I can sense the isolated peace during dinner. I don't know why, they too told me that the atmosphere during dinner not having me seemed to be quieter than usual. Really? I just don;t think so. =D I'm so afraid that when I transfer to my 3rd host family, what will the feeling be? Will I cry the whole journey there, not being able to be happy?

I was indeed right. My 3rd host father wasn't as kind, as friendly as my 1st host father. He is always in a mood of moody, not smiling, didn't talk to me as long as 15 mins. My host mom was okay, a friendly face but I can find the friendly face in my 1st host mom better than my 3rd host mom. Finally, my host sisters, yes they are really cheerful, indeed, friendly enough to make my trip wonderful. But there is no craziness in this family. I remember always laughing no matter day or night at my 1st host family place. I can't even write my 21 days diary there.. because I'm just too busy laughing at their silly, crazy jokes. Just miss those times.

I was also right as well, I did not cry when I returned to Malaysia. I saw some of my friends soaked with continuous tears and sadness, not willing to go home. For me? I don't feel sad at all. In fact, I feel like going home. Am i crazy? yes i certainly am. The moment after I left my first host family, I really feel like going back to Malaysia. It is not that I'm not happy in my 3rd host family. I am happy there but I'm used to the atmosphere of my 1st host family. I love their craziness. They are my crazy host family but I enjoyed so much. Perhaps, it is also because of my stay with my 3rs host family is much lesser than the days I stayed with my 1st host family.

However, once I boarded the plane, I felt the feeling of missing JAPAN. Not only me, my other YE friends, shi min, rou ying, pei hun, soo hua....etc all of us at that time were sad and at the same time, can just talk continuously about our 3 weeks stay there. ^^

I don't understand why, sometimes when were here, we will miss that place and when were at that place we will miss here. For example, when I was in japan, I miss Malaysia a little, my family.. and when I'm back to Malaysia, I really miss Japan so damn freaking much. Some of my friends in College asked me if I'm from Japan. Sometimes, I really wanna say that, yes I am from Japan. lol. It is so not true. Some things if we hope, it just won't be true because it meant to be like that. I know, life is unfair too. That's why we have to try our best to enjoy life, don't think negatively, work towards your goal, think positively and your dream will come true. Of course, you can't talk only but no action done. You must convince yourself to be confidence and at the same time work towards your goal!!^^

Dreaming again when I go to Japan again, when will it be? how would the feeling be? How would my host family react? Will they remember me? will they offer me a room to stay? will the feeling be like it used to? have I learned the Japanese Language and was able to speak it? Just will everything be like I first arrived to Japan? With my host father, talking, taking pics..?Well, takashi, keigo, ryouta and motoki will certainly be different. They will grow up, their looks will obviously change. Althoughg everything has changed by that time, I just hope for one thing. I just hope that they rmr me, this Malaysian who stayed at their house from 14th december 2008 to 29th of december 2008...

No matter what happen in the future, I know for sure, I will be able to go to Japan again, and they will come to malaysia tot pay me a visit! Yes, it will certainly come true. Just visualize and everything will fall into it's right position!



Japan, here I come (again! o_o)
In the future!

By,
Hooi Jett
mon,13th of apr,5.41pm