I don't know

It is not how it ought to be
How I wish that particular dream to come true
I have been dreaming the same thing that would never ever occur in my reality life
If it came true, it would be truly miracle
what could I wish for now
It is too late for once it reach the end of 2009
I must tell myself to forget about the past and move forward
because there's no more turn back
The dream must be ended and everything must be forgotten
because...
I don't deserve this
I know I deserve something better than this
This is not anything serious that might kill me or something
I just don't want to this to remain like this
I deserve to have something better
at least...
may be something that can fulfill half of my mission?
Well...
May be I should stop my nonsense here...
dimwitted, I am.

HJ